Guilt
by BondedWings
Summary: The Sasuke Retrieval Mission was a failure and despite his father's words, Shikamaru still blames himself. Usually, he'd go to Chouji about this, right? So, why was he standing in front of Kiba's hospital room instead? Birthday Gift Fic for Michi :D


(A/N) This is a birthday gift for my best friend's little sister, Michi (she has a fanfiction, but I don't know it, so I'll go w/her nickname :D)! Her favorite Naruto pairings are Kibashika and Nejigaara, and because I adore her so, I decided to write her a fanfiction dedicated to one of them despite my own pairing preferences.

Out of all my "daughters" she's the most defiant, stubborn, and hotheaded one of them all. However, she's also the most talented, bravest, and A spitfire and a joy who can pack one hell of a punch (seriously, I think she may have broken a bone once or twice. Ow!), she's one of a kind!

Like I said this DOES NOT reflect my pairing preferences (not that there's anything wrong with the pairing. It's just not my cup of tea ;P), so don't expect any more stories about these two.

However… *strokes chin thoughtfully* ^_^

Seeing as I am bound by the happiness of my friends (as cheesy as that may sound), I may end up doing more stories w/pairings I don't necessarily favor, if a good friend requests it.^^; Typically as birthday and holiday presents, of course.

Ahh… *shakes head* I'm a slave to love. XD

Well, without further ado… *flourishes hand* Please enjoy~

**Guilt**

It had taken a week, but finally Shikamaru had worked up the courage to check in on his wounded teammates. His own injuries, however minor, had been treated. The mission reports had been filled and delivered, and now that both Chouji and Neji's lives were no longer hanging by a thread, the chūnin had at last run out of excuses for his absence. Of course, he'd started with Chouji. I mean, why not? Chouji was his best friend, his right-hand man. Next to his folks, he was the most important person in his life. Come to think of it, even after checking on everyone else, he probably should've stayed with him. Be supportive and all that. So why wasn't it _his_ hospital room he was standing in front of, instead of Kiba's?

It was because despite what his dad said, despite what that troublesome Sand woman Temari had said, despite what the fucking _Hokage _had said, he was still blaming himself. He was no longer ready to hand in his resignation as a shinobi, but the guilt was still there. Eating away at him like a parasite, invading his thoughts and making it so that every time he even came close to knocking on Chouji's door to come and visit, he just couldn't bring himself to do it.

Because he knew exactly what would happen if he did. Because the first time he'd visited Chouji, the boy had taken one look at him and forgiven him before Shikamaru even got the chance to open his mouth. He had smiled, and laughed, and begged for chips. And right now, Shikamaru couldn't handle that. He couldn't handle being forgiven. He couldn't sit by Chouji's bedside, swapping jokes, sharing snuck-in snacks. He wanted to be blamed, to be cursed at, and to have things thrown at him.

So that's why he was standing there. Because he could trust Kiba to give him all that and more. Kiba wouldn't smile cheerfully and pretend it was nothing like Chouji did or even like Lee. Kiba wouldn't stare at him with a pitying gaze and knowing eyes like Neji had. And Kiba wouldn't look like he was about to fall apart at the slightest move like Naruto was now. Kiba would be angry, passionate. He would be sarcastic and condescending. He would be exactly what Shikamaru needed. So without further ado, after mentally preparing himself for the insults and accusations ahead, the chūnin turned the handle and pushed open the door with the smallest feeling of anticipation.

The young Inuzuka was in bed, propped up by at least a dozen pillows. His chest and arms were almost entirely covered in bandages. His head had been wrapped up as well, but not so much that his untamable brown hair could be contained, or that his roguish face, red markings included, was hidden from view. All things considering, he looked pretty good. Akamaru lay on Kiba's lap, dozing softly as his owner stroked over bandages and white fur. At Shikamaru's entry however, the dog's ears perked up. His tiny head rose and his tail began to wag at the sight of him. The chūnin wondered, that if the dog had the strength, would he come tottering over, jumping at his legs and barking happily like he usually did.

Akamaru's sudden movement jolted Kiba out of his daze and caused him to look up, meeting the young Nara's eyes. His eyes narrowed and his mouth twisted into a dog-like sneer. "Well, look who finally decided to show up," he barked. Noting his friend's lack of response, Kiba continued. "What? Too busy to come and visit your friends in the hospital? I hope you brought some streak to make up for it."

Shikamaru felt his gut clench at the remark, though strangely not unpleasantly. "Something like that," he replied almost indifferently. "And no, sorry. It was too troublesome to stop and pick up something to eat."

Kiba growled under his breath, his face becoming cloudier by the second. More, more. He needed him to be much more angrier than he was. "How're you feeling?" he asked casually, not making eye contact with the boy in bed, choosing instead to address the curtains framing the window.

"Oh, I'm great. Yeah, picture of health." Kiba didn't even bother to hide his sarcasm. "'Cept of course for the broken bones, the fractured skull, and the punctured lung…" he trailed off, wincing as he tried to sit up.

The small movement caught Shikamaru's eye and he started toward the bed, his arms reached out for support. "Are you okay? Should I get the nurse?" his voice wavering slightly as he came close. Kiba glared fiercely at him, knocking away the other's hands.

"I'm fine, I'm fine! I can take care of myself!" he snapped.

Shikamaru backed off, holding his hands up in surrender. He glanced around before his eyes came to rest on a stool. Looking between it and the boy in the bed, and driven by his secret hope that Kiba would lose his temper at him, he went to drag it next to the bed and sat down. Kiba continued to glare at the chūnin but surprisingly said nothing. Akamaru had settled down onto the blankets once more, his eyes closing in an attempt at a nap.

Now that he was closer to Kiba, Shikamaru couldn't but notice that the wrappings around the other teen's chest were loosening, falling around his stomach to reveal a surprisingly muscular chest, riddled with scars, both old and new. After suddenly catching himself staring, Shikamaru coughed and turned away. Kiba looked at him like he'd gone nuts.

"What's with you?"

"Nothing…" he muttered. Glancing back at the loose bandages, he let out a long sigh before reaching over and beginning to unwrap them. "Geez… How troublesome."

Kiba practically jumped out of his skin as Shikamaru placed his hands on him. His sudden movements had even disturbed Akamaru, who gave a sharp yip at his nap being disturbed once more. "What the _hell_ are you doing?"

Ignoring him and disregarding his previous intentions, Shikamaru continued his unwrapping of the bandages, revealing the rest of the other's chest. "Well, you're the one who said you didn't want a nurse," he stated, taking a fresh roll of bandages from the side table. "And you can't reach where you need to, to do it yourself. So stop complaining and just let me help." The young Inuzuka looked ready to argue, but seemed to decide against it, instead choosing to face the other way and stare out the window as the young Nara continued his work.

They sat in an awkward silence for a long period of time. The only sound to be heard was the quiet snores of the dog on the blankets and the occasional grunts of pain from his owner. After a while, Kiba finally broke the silence.

"So… How you holding up?"

Shikamaru was quiet for a moment before replying shortly, "Not bad. My injuries weren't that serious."

Kiba nodded. "Well, that's good."

More silence. Shikamaru's hands firmly, but gently wrapped the new bandages into place. Occasionally, he'd brush over a patch of unusually warm skin and Kiba would shiver slightly, his face turning a very soft shade of pink.

"Ah…" he jumped again. "Th-That tickles."

"O-Oh, sorry…" Shikamaru mumbled, embarrassed for whatever reason he could not imagine.

"Nah, it's fine." Kiba turned his head away again. "Don't worry about it."

They continued on that way, and strangely enough, even though he wasn't getting the verbal abuse he'd been expecting and secretly hoping for, Shikamaru felt himself somewhat relaxed in the Inuzuka's presence. At least…until he started talking again.

"You know… You didn't do that bad, considering it was your first time leading a team."

Shikamaru didn't reply.

"Hell, without you we would've been dead the second those Sound assholes picked up on our first sneak attack."

The young Nara finished tying the wrapping and stood up. He suddenly felt the desperate and overwhelming need to escape. From this room, from this hospital. From the guy who was supposed to be the only one who would give him the treatment he deserved.

"I have to get going. Gotta meet Lady Tsunade with a status report. I'll catch you later." He turned and took a step towards the door.

"Look…" Kiba's voice stopped in his tracks.

No more. No more. Please don't say anymore. He didn't think he could take it.

"Don't…beat yourself up too much over this, okay? It's…It's not like it's your _fault_-"

"Don't…" Shikamaru muttered suddenly, cutting him off. "Don't say that. You weren't supposed to say that. You weren't supposed to forgive me too."

"Well, whadaya want me to say?" Kiba yelled, throwing his bandaged arms in the air. Akamaru jumped at the sudden increase in volume, looking between the boys and searching for the cause of such an immediate change. "That it's your fault we didn't get Sasuke back? That Chouji and Neji almost died 'cuz of you? That, thanks to you, Naruto's a compete wreck? That you're the reason Akamaru an' me got so banged up?" He let out a snort, "Don't flatter yourself! We stayed behind 'cuz we _chose to_! It was all we could do at the time! We wouldn't have gotten as close as we did, if we'd done anything less and you know it!" Shikamaru still didn't respond and Kiba felt whatever little part of his temper that he had so far managed to keep in check, evaporate into thin air.

"So, we failed! So, we got hurt! So, your first mission as team leader didn't go as well as you'd planned! It happens!" Kiba roared, pushing forward, fists clenched in the sheets beneath him, eyes blazing and silently imploring his friend to turn around and face him. "I get that it's bugging you, it's bugging me too! But why are you killin' yourself over it?"

And finally, after days and days of all the stress, all the anxiety, and all the _guilt_ building and growing inside of the young chūnin finally snapped. Spinning around with his arms thrown out, Shikamaru knocked over a vase filled with the violets Hinata had brought for her teammate. The vase fell to the floor with a crash, shards and flowers going everywhere, water drenching the tiled floor.

"Because I'm sick of all you acting like nothing's happened," Shikamaru roared at the other teenager. "I'm sick of Neji looking at me like I'm this baby deer who's too weak or too timid to walk on his own! I'm sick of seeing that dead look in Naruto's eyes every time I enter his room. Fuck, even Lee got hurt and he wasn't even supposed to be _on_ the mission in the first place!" Hands clenched in his hair, eyes wild. Any nurse who was even considering entering must've been able to sense that the Inuzuka's room had now become a war zone.

Tears of frustration, anger, and sheer pain had filled the boy's eyes. "And I'm sick and tired of Chouji acting like everything's alright! Like nothing's wrong, like he didn't almost _die_!" Finally, Shikamaru collapsed back into his chair, his head in his hand, screaming at the floor. "It's not alright! _Nothing_ is alright! _Why doesn't anyone see that?_"

Shikamaru had been so preoccupied with his rage and his fury and trying his best to keep his tear ducts from betraying him that he hadn't realized Kiba movements until he looked up to see the other boy right in his face. A clawed fist had made its way to his chest and gripped tightly into his chūnin vest, pulling Shikamaru to face the bed and the one residing in it. Blazing, dark slit eyes stared into teary, brown narrow ones. Canine teeth were bared and a hand that should not be able to possess such power, held more strength in it than any man in his condition could possibly have. When Kiba spoke, he voice was harsh. Hard and filled with anger, exasperation, and an emotion that neither one could place.

"You're right!" the injured Inuzuka said loudly, shaking him for emphasis and bringing his friend closer. "It's not alright! It's not gonna be alright for a long time!" The bitter truth of his words and the intensity of his voice ended any threat of tears and left Shikamaru simply frozen in shock.

"But you know what?" Kiba asked forcefully, his grip becoming just a shy of painful.

The chūnin shook his head slowly. Kiba was so close that Shikamaru could count the other teen's eyelashes and smell the ever-present scent of earth and musk that constantly followed him. His lips were only a hair's breath away from the other boy's that with one forward press of his head, the distance between them would be no more. That hard, blazing look had returned to Kiba's eyes as he met Shikamaru's gaze. He was so close now. Too close. Shikamaru was about to pull away and until Kiba's next words stopped him in his tracks. "We're gonna get through it," Kiba finished solemnly.

And with one final pull, the distance between them was closed. Kiba's lips were hardy against the young chūnin, but inviting as they moved against his. His hand never released its grip on the other's vest, only pulling him in as close as he could.

After a moment of shock, Shikamaru began to reciprocate slowly but surely. His heart pounded furiously in his ears as his blood seemed to become molten lava. Kiba's kiss became deeper and more thorough. Teasing nips and licks were given to the other's lips before entry was awarded and Shikamaru could not help but let out a low moan as he felt electric currents run through his body as an overwhelming taste that was inexplicably Kiba filled his mouth.

There was no opportunity to stop and draw breath. If they stopped for an instant, whatever creatures currently possessed their bodies would withdraw. Burry back down deep into their nerves and return to their long hibernation. Long laps of wayward tongues, bruising pressure as lips slid over one another, an insatiable hunger that burned like a flame… It wasn't a dance that the two shinobi had started between them. It was a battle.

The kiss was rough, impulsive, consuming, and over much too soon.

Kiba finally pulled his mouth away, with Shikamaru reluctantly letting him, but did not release the teen himself. Instead he fixed with a serious gaze and that same roguish, childish smirk that only ever left his face when angry. "'Cuz we're shinobi, right?" he asked Shikamaru, staring straight into his eyes.

The young Nara blinked once. Twice. "Y-Yeah…" he replied. Kiba grinned and released him, pushing him backwards so he almost fell over in his chair, before plopping back down on his bed.

"So quit it with the pity-party already, would ya?" he barked, Akamaru, now awake and lively, scuttling around the injured teens covered legs. "It's annoying as hell!"

Shikamaru stared at Kiba for a good long minute, trying to make sense of what had just happened. Unfortunately, he doubted all the thinking stances in the world could help him figure this one out. Suddenly Kiba looked up him as though surprised by his continuing presence.

"What, are ya still here?" he accused, though only a small level of annoyance could be heard in his tone. "Don't you have some other people you need to see?" Shikamaru got the feeling he wasn't referring to the Hokage. Smirking, he rolled his eyes at the other teen.

"Yeah, I guess I do. Better head off then." He made his way to the door, placing his hand on the handle. "Take care of yourself."

"Yeah, whatever," came the reply. "Make sure you send the janitor to come and clean up the mess." Shikamaru smirked again, and was about to open the door and leave when a thought came to him.

Turning his head back to look over at the bed, he added, "I'll stop by again to see how you're doing. Who knows? If it's not too troublesome, I may even pick up some steak."

Kiba grinned, a feral, wolfish look in his eyes at the prospect of food that made Shikamaru shiver.

"I'm holdin' ya to that, man. Count on it."

Shikamaru gave Kiba one more grin and left the room. As he made his way down the hall, he thought about a lot of things. He thought about what flavor potato chips he should get for Chouji before going to see him. He thought about talking to Neji and Lee about the opponents they'd encountered and their abilities so the Leaf could add to its knowledge of the Sound. He thought about talking Sakura into coming to see Naruto and hopefully get that fire burning in his eyes again. He thought about talking to Lady Tsunade about more efficient team formations, strategies, and specialists that should be expected on missions. But most of all, he thought about Kiba. About his harsh, yet honest words and how they had given him peace and an answer he hadn't known he'd been searching for. About the touch of his overly warm skin and the fact that he was ticklish around his chest and stomach. About how his lips had tasted like earth and musk and something undistinguishable, but still completely Kiba, and how at that very moment, he was trying to imprint the flavor into his memory banks for safekeeping until he was able to get a second taste. And another. And another… And another…


End file.
